Bigger is better

On my way home from work today, driving my giant SUV, I was behind a very tiny little car. Not a smart car but the same size. There was a Great Dane dog sticker in its back window. Hee hee, his dog is bigger than his car.
That is all. Carry on.

Dear Dr. Bethie: Non-physician, heal thyself

Dear Dr. Bethie,
I know it's been a while since we've corresponded, so we have some catching up to do. I decided to stop the ibuprofen because it was causing inflammation. I could feel it inside me.
Sincerely,
Not-quite-board-certified in Boise

NQBC,
Ibuprofen is actually an anti-inflammatory. And I'm puzzled by what you mean when you say you could feel inflammation inside you.
Cheers,
Dr. B

Dear Dr. Bethie,
It's hard to describe, but I could just feel it. So now when I have pain, I just take an extra methotrexate.
Just call me "doctor,"
NQBC

Dear NQBC,
Methotrexate is not an as-needed sort of pill. And dose adjustments take about 2-3 months to have an effect, so you're going to be waiting a long, long time to notice the difference from one extra pill.
No, you call me "doctor,"
Dr. B

Dear Dr. Bethie,
And I was reading the awful medication label for methotrexate and thinking that I'd like to use something natural instead. Because, you know, that's safer.
Never mind, call me "crunchy granola" instead,
NQSB

Dear NQSB,
Um, natural is not the same as safe. Rat poison is technically natural, and it doesn't seem very safe, now does it?
Un-hippie as it gets,
Dr. B

Dear Dr. Bethie,
But I was reading on the internet -

NQSB,
Tssst, tssst, tssst. No talkie about the internet. I've enclosed the application for all the medical schools in the state. How's about you apply, do those 4 years, then do the residency for 3 years, then the 2-year fellowship, and then we'll talk again.
That's gonna take you forever,
Dr. B

TGIF!

Am I the only one glad today is Friday? And it was a short week for the Scholzen since we spent a long weekend at  Mom Z's house in WF last weekend. Let me just tell you, that new kitchen is fabulous. Just needs the backsplash, and then it will be something you could put in a magazine. And that's really fun, but it's also a little weird to see the kitchen look different. I mean, it's been the same as long as I can remember. Every dinner, every batch of Christmas cookies, every birthday cake came from that kitchen. A tiny piece of me will miss the blue wallpaper and the silverware drawer that's missing a handle so you have to grab it from the side. But the rest of me can't wait to take Ellison there again and again to make Christmas cookies and eat birthday cake in style.

Speaking of Elle, here's a story. I took her with me to the grocery store this afternoon, and that kid loves riding in the shopping cart. She waves and makes friends with everyone. And she really loves going fast. So on days like today, when the floor is waxed just right and I'm wearing my clogs that slide just a little, I run run run and push her down the aisle and then... slide to a sudden stop. And she loves it. Laughs out loud. Squeals, even. And how can I tell that smiling face no? So I do it again. And again and again. Up and down the pasta aisle. We got a couple funny looks, but what can I say? Just like her father before her, this kid makes me do things I normally wouldn't. Like run and slide like a fool down the grocery aisles, just to see her smile.

A recipe for a great day

I accidentally discovered a great pick-me-up for hump day last week. Follow my instructions carefully and you, too, will have a great day (next) Wednesday!

1) Acquire chocolate by any means necessary. I recommend purchasing from the grocery store, but you could always steal from a baby if you're desperate.

2) Put the chocolate in your work bag with the intention of treating yourself the next day. I recommend Thursdays for this step in order to maximize the effect.

3) Have a really busy next day (eg, Friday) and only eat a couple pieces. Shove the chocolate bag back into your bag, safely out of view of your chocolate-vulture co-workers, while you see your afternoon patients. You can substitute any work-related activity here. The key is to get so busy you simply don't have time to eat your precious chocolate.

4) Forget about the chocolate. Don't look at it, don't listen to the magical aluminum crinkle, and for goodness' sake, don't touch it! Walk away. Just walk away.

5) On the following Wednesday, reach into your bag for your pager (or ID badge, keys, whatever). An amazing (re)discovery awaits you! Chocolate! Savor every bite, giving you just enough energy to get through the rest of the day.

Repeat. I also recommend changing the particular product week to week to minimize tolerance and maximize surprise