A change is gonna come

OK, two days in a row to make up for the last three weeks. Nothing all that funny, but I have two moderately important announcements.

1) It's demo day!
My mom is actually, really, truly, no turning back remodeling her kitchen. The contractor is ripping out all the cabinets, appliances, and tile. It's so crazy to think that the next time I'm in WF, the kitchen will look completely different. I mean, it's been the same for as long as I can remember. But I know one thing that will never change... the avodaco green Kitchen Aid. Oh, my sweet security blanket.

2) Hello, Charlotte!
Our niece made her grand entrance into the world last night. I have two words of advice, Katie and Rob... baby burrito.This prevents involuntary arm waving with resultant involuntary face smacking with further resultant inadvertent self-waking of the sleeping baby. We're so glad we'll get to meet her in a few short weeks at Christmas.

That is all. Class dismissed.

Battle of the sexes: The sacrifices we make

Finally some blog-worthy Scholz shenanigans. And not just one but two in one day. I hope this marks a trend of breaking the cyber-silence.

1) Get out of jail free
On the way home this afternoon, I called Nick so we could figure out who would be picking up the baby.
Nick: You sure are addicted to that baby, rushing home every day to pick her up from daycare.
Me: Yup. But I'd rush home to see you, too, if you were in jail.
Nick: No, you wouldn't. You'd just let me sit there in jail.
Me: She's in baby jail, not real jail. I'd come visit you in baby jail.

2) A labor of love
When discussing the fact that Katie (Nick's sister) is in labor and wondering whether or not she'd get an epidural.
Me: She can do whatever she wants, but I advocate for the epidural. I've been there, and I want the epidural.
Nick: Yeah, me, too. I've been in the room for the pain, and I want the epidural. I love you, but I wouldn't take that pain from you.
Me: What?!
Nick: Yeah, anybody who says that is lying. Or an idiot. I mean, I might fall on a grenade for you, but I wouldn't do that.
Me: So you'd die for me, but you wouldn't live in painful misery?
Nick: Nope. You gotta draw the line somewhere.

Apologies

Sorry. I've been in DC for the last week for a rheumatology convention. While I was gone my kid and my husband got sick. Now I've got lots to do and no time in which to do it, and the poor baby is just still miserable. So I don't have much in the way of funny and witty right now. Maybe next week.

The new new normal

Ten months ago we recalibrated normal at the Scholz household when Ellison made her entrance into the world. Yesterday was another big one - Elle's first day at daycare. Frowny face. I'd been dreading it for weeks, but I couldn't deny any longer that the day had come. So Sunday night I packed her little bag. And cried just a little bit. And warned Nick it would only be worse Monday morning.
I cried a little more while I was getting Elle dressed Monday morning. And then a lot in the car on the way there. I held it together long enough to sign her in and explain her routine to the staff. It helped that she was happily bouncing in a little baby thingamajig rather than screaming when I left. I only whimpered a little in the hall and made it to my car before the flood came.
And believe it or not, we both survived. When I picked her up, the staff said she'd had a great first day. Didn't even cry. So yes, that sets the first day crying tally at Ellison 0, mommy 4.

Our new addition

I'd like to introduce you to the newest member of our family. No, it isn't another baby. He's furry. No, it isn't another dog.

Meet Pogo the monkey.

Center upper, Ellison. Center lower, Pogo. Left, baby sock.

Auntie Laurie gave Pogo to Elle as a going-away present before she (Laurie, not Elle) moved back to Arizona last week. And Elle loves him. Loves him.* She flings him around, whacks him against her crib, drags him on the ground, and he just smiles, very happy to have found a baby to love.

Welcome home, Pogo.

*She loves him so much, in fact, that we are considering buying another monkey. Pogo's stunt double, if you will, ready for back-up duty in case of emergency.

A new kind of popular

Remember how I recently told you about how people google me now? I'm sitting in the office typing a note between patients a couple weeks ago when my cell phone rings...

Me: Hello?
Caller: Hi, is this Dr. Beth Scholz?
Me: Yes, who's calling?
Caller: Um, I have an appointment with you at noon...
Me: WHAT?! HOW DID YOU GET THIS NUMBER?!
Caller: Uh, sorry, I just found it on the internet. I'm, I'm just trying to let someone know I'll be a few minutes late because I'm stuck in traffic. I thought this was your office phone, but it seems like it's your personal phone, huh?
Me: Get here whenever you can. But my office number is 777-777-7777.

[Typing angrily] beth scholz rheumatology
Me: Gasp!

[storming down the hallway]
Me: Guess who just called me, on my cell phone?
Dr. Attending: Huh?
Me: My twelve o'clock. He just googled my name and found MY CELL PHONE NUMBER! So I googled my name, and guess what? ALL OF OUR CELL PHONES ARE ON THE INTERNET!
Dr. A: Huh?
[more typing] doctor attending rheumatology
Dr. A: Gasp! HOW DID OUR CELL PHONE NUMBERS GET ON THE INTERNET?!
Me: I DON'T KNOW! I just can't believe nobody's found them before now! [running through the clinic] OUR CELL PHONE NUMBERS ARE ON THE INTERNET!

Collective: Gasp!

Needless to say, this situation was rapidly rectified. So google me now, I dare ya.