Battle of the sexes: My love/hate relationship

As he occasionally does, Nick hasn't shaved all weekend, which always results in teasing back and forth all weekend about how his face will slice me open if I get too close or how I'll bleed everywhere if I kiss him, etc. You get the point. But today I made a confession...

Me: Don't read too much into this, but I need to tell you something.
Nick: Huh? puzzled, kinda worried look
Me: As much as I make fun of your 5-o'clock shadow, it does kind of make you a little bit ruggedly handsome.
Nick: We are well past 5-o'clock shadow here. This is like 3 days' worth.
Me: Yeah, I know. What I'm trying to say is that I like looking at your scruff. But not touching it because it might hurt me. But it's kinda manly, I guess.
Nick: Well, I am very manly. I even just drank Dr. Pepper 10. And you know, that's not for women. Just for guys.

If the punchline to that conversation didn't make sense, watch this and then read it again. Heck, even if you did get it, you should watch the commercial again because it's just that funny.

Sugar high

I've been tasked with producing a few dozen sugar cookies for a friend's upcoming baby shower. These cookies need to be 1) shaped like fleur de lis and 2) Mardis Gras purple and/or green. So I went on an adventure in sugar cookies this weekend in search of THE perfect sugar cookie. I've just washed down the last round of testing with a tall glass of milk, and here's the data.

1) "The Best Rolled Sugar Cookies" (allrecipes.com )
With over 5,000 reviewers averaging 4.5 stars, I went for this one first, thinking it would be the one.
The take: Basic ingredients, boasts easy prep and roll-out.
The dough: Kinda bland, made me wish I'd added a teeny bit of salt since the recipe includes none and I cook with unsalted butter. (And I usually cut the salt in every recipe by 50% or more, so I'm used to the absence of overtly salty flavor.)
The roll-out: True to the contributor's word, the dough rolled out beautifully. No cracking, held its shape when cut.
The finished product: Kinda bland as expected based on the dough. And just a little tough. Totally edible, but not the chewy deliciousness I was anticipating based on all those rave reviews.

2) Best-loved Sugar Cookies (Better Homes and Gardens)
When all else fails, I go back to my faithful red and white companion, which Mom gave me when I moved away to college.
The take: Uses half butter and half shortening, bake longer at a lower temp
The dough: Delish. I wanted just to sit with a spoon and eat the whole bowl.
The roll-out: Easy. No cracking or tearing. Firm enough to be cut and handled without warping my hearts but not hard.
The finished product: Very sweet and pretty flavorful for an unadorned sugar cookie. But the dough spread A LOT in the oven (chilled as directed after mixing, rolled/cut quickly and then straight in the oven), which resulted it pretty thin cookies with a lot of exterior crunch. Might work better if baked at higher temp for shorter time like the other recipes.

3) Sugar Cookies (Real Simple)
I've not had the best luck with Real Simple recipes, but I was looking for something different from the others I'd tried.
The take: High butter to sugar ratio.
The dough: So yummy. You can tell they're super buttery. Nice smooth texture.
The roll-out: Ug, rough. The dough went from chilled and firm to warm and smooshy really fast with all that butter. Made my little hearts lop-sided.
The finished product: Very buttery as expected, crunchy on the edge but still soft and crumbly in the middle. Not quite the chewiness I usually like in a cookie but appropriately sturdy for decorating.

4) Sugar Cookies (Southern Living)
Southern Living is pretty much the gold standard for anything involving butter and/or sugar. And don't tell me, "No, Paula Deen is." I didn't think of that until just now and don't want to make any more sugar cookies today.
The take: Lots of extra ingredients including lemon juice and vegetable oil.
The dough: Average. Relatively wet, required more time in the fridge to firm up than the others.
The roll-out: The easiest of all. The dough was nicely pliable, rolled out evenly with minimal fuss. Didn't require nearly as much flour as I expected to prevent sticking.
The finished product: More flavorful than #1, much softer than #2, less crunch than #3. But did spread a bit; the hearts were still recognizable but a bit too round. The most similar to what I remember making with Mom as a kid.

Top left, Real Simple. Top right, Southern Living.
Bottom left, allrecipes.com. Bottom left, BHG

The bottom line... I'll probably go with the Real Simple version and do plenty of chilling between each step since maintaining shape when baked and durability for decorating and transportation are my priorities. However, if I were to do a cookie cake, I'd likely choose BHG since the spreading wouldn't be an issue, and I like just a bit of crunchy outside on thick pan cookies. For drop cookies with buttercream (my favorite), I'd do Southern Living with my mom's buttercream.

Later this week will be adventures in coloring and pouring royal icing. Let's hope my patients don't mind purple and green fingers.

You oughta be in pictures

I haven't done many pictures of Ellison lately, so here's a random smattering of photo-updates.

Ellison's first try at both scooping and feeding her own yogurt. Aiming yogurt at your mouth is not only harder than it looks, it isn't nearly as fun as flinging it all over the table, your chest, and Mommy.

Mother's Day Breakfast for Dinner. Daddy, where's the bacon?

Her first time at the splash pad at our neighborhood park. That's her "whoa whoa whoa this is icy cold but still so fun" face.

You, with the ice cream cone. You're going down.

The Monday that never ends

Guys, I just don't know what's wrong. Nothing about this week has been that hard, but it's been sucking the life out of me. Just lots of little things, I guess. Really sick patients - not dying, just the kind that have half a dozen little issues that all need to be addressed in 30 minutes or less. Spending over half an hour on the phone investigating financially viable infusion options for my patient only to be shut down by the powers that be. My kid pushing me away to hug the daycare worker. Twice. The other guy talking apples when I'm talking oranges and then he throws an apple at my head (figuratively of course). Realizing I'm not as good in the kitchen as I once was and that the finer points of baking are not like riding a bicycle. (Fine, I'll get specific. Instead of custard I got scrambled eggs. And ganache that rolled off my cake into a goopy puddle.)
But I've still got a few good things. Like my precious baby girl, who ran back up to me for another hug this morning. And a handsome husband who still likes my baking. And a handmade gift from a patient. And a best friend who's already heard it all from me but still listens ever so patiently.

And a three day week on the other side of a three day weekend. Sigh of relief.

Oopsie doozie daisy

Sorry, guys. I thought I published a post last week but now can't find it anywhere. Blogger must have gotten hungry and eaten it for lunch.

So today was a Monday with not just a capital M but also a frowny face and a rain cloud. My clinic was just bursting at the seems with really sick and/or complicated and/or challenging patients today. I don't know how it happened, but it was almost more than my little head could take. As such, I'd like to propose a change to the scheduling department.
Normally my day is divided into new and follow-up slots with the new slots being 60 minutes and the follow-ups 30 minutes. Yes, this is a really long doctor appointment (in private practice most people do 15 minutes, 20 minutes tops). No, I don't actually spend that long with people. That's supposed to be time for staffing with the attending and doing lab slips and papers and stuff. But I propose the following... instead of dividing into new vs. old, I'm going to assign slots based on level of dooziness. I will assign every patient a doozie level based on severity of illness, # of medications, other complicating factors, and degree of general expected maintenance. I will structure my schedule to accommodate a variety of doozie factors, with mostly space for low numbers (oh say 0-4), a couple slots for moderate dooziness (maybe 5-8) and a single whoa Nellie doozie spot (9-10). So if you're an 8 but I already have three 6's and a 9 for the day, you'll just have to come the following week. Because if clinic keeps up at this pace for the next 6 weeks, my little head might explode before I graduate. And it would just be a shame after 26 years of school to get this close and not finish because of the rare but documented exploding fellow head syndrome.

Grown-ups say the darndest things

Two funny stories that I heard on the radio today.

1) One station is giving away Taylor Swift tickets, and caller who was the lucky winner just went crazy. Yelling and woohoo-ing all over the place. The DJ expressed surprise at a grown man's enthusiasm for Taylor and asked if he would be taking his girlfriend. The guy replied an emphatic, "No!" The DJ asked him why that wouldn't be the case. He replied, "If I had a girlfriend, my wife would kill me. I'm taking my wife." Heh. Funny.

2) Anybody know the station that does the "Second Date Update?" Some smitten dude or chick who can't get a call-back after a date uses the radio station to contact the person (on air of course) and ask why he/she doesn't like him/her and/or want to see him/her again. Today the dude called it. The chick said she didn't want to see him again because "we just have like totally opposite value systems." I thought maybe he'd made fun of Jesus or something. But oh no. What happened is while they were at dinner (on the initial date that got the whole thing started), the dude told the waitress he wanted to surprise the table next to them and pay the tab; it was a table full of uniformed servicemen. The chick said she thought that was such a waste of money and completely irresponsible. She went on to say that she's all for giving to charities but that she just thought it was ridiculous to pay for somebody's food who you don't even know.
Hmm, kinda like he was doing for you on that date? Ridiculous, I say. He sounded like a sweet guy. All you single ladies should call up the radio station and ask for his number.

The week in review

Last week I...

Ran 3 miles.

Made Elle laugh so hard she fell over.

Spent a relaxing afternoon with my bestie.

Lost sleep over a patient.

Held my baby close because the news on TV was just too much.

Almost ate a cupcake but then ate a mango instead.

Really, really scrubbed the shower.

Laughed so hard with Nick that I spit toothpaste all over the mirror.


How about you?

Reality check

I was sitting in the resident library earlier this week while a medicine resident and attending ran their list.

Dr. Attending: So what's the deal with Mrs. Jones?
Resident: Well, she's still bacteremic,* but ortho doesn't want to remove the infected hardware in her leg. And vascular won't revascularize* until the hardware's out. And plastics won't graft the wound until she's revascularized.
Dr. A: So why won't ortho just remove the hardware?
R: Because she hasn't been taking the antibiotics they prescribed her. So she's still infected.
Dr. A: But if she's still bacteremic they need to remove the hardware.
R: But they don't want to remove the hardware until she's not bacteremic.
Dr. A and R: Sigh.

I sat in the corner with my feet propped up, reading about TNF inhibitor use in pregnancy and smirking to myself. I remember those days, and I'm so glad that's not my problem anymore. And then a thought slapped me in the face like a cold mackerel... They're making me medicine attending for a month next year, so all the above will very much be my problem again. Sigh.

P.S. Can you even believe they're gonna let me be an attending? Crazy, right?


*helpful vocabulary:
bacteremia=bacteria growing from blood cultures
revascularize=surgery to open up or replace clogged/clotted vessels, usually in the legs