My Wednesday

Here's what I got goin' on today.

What's in my purse:
1) a Tide pen
2) Burt's Bees Almond Milk hand cream
3) MakeUpForever lipstick*
4) collections letter from a law firm on behalf of the Harris County Toll Road Authority**
5) 2 hair clips
6) ear bud headphones

What Amazon.com suggests for me today:
1) Harold and the Purple Crayon
2) The Economist subscription
3) Black and Decker iron
4) unbleached cloth diapers
5) Timex men's watch***

What's on my docket:
1) 1 patient****
2) standing in line at the Bureau of Vital Statistics to get copies of A's & E's birth certificates
3) running 3 miles, hopefully without stopping
4) feeding baby oatmeal to A
5) wiping baby oatmeal off A, his seat, me, and everything around us

*#34 is totally my new favorite. Love, love, love.
**Nick cleared that up. Fear not, I won't be asking you to help hide me from the law. As it turns out, I do not owe HCTRA $79.75.
***No, honey, I did not buy you a watch for our anniversary. I bought myself a watch just because.
****Nobody loves me. Everybody cancels. Which is why I have time to write a blog entry in the middle of the day.

Batle of the sexes: Finally funny

Shortly after Ellison was born, Meagan asked me about posting some stories about how Nick and I handle baby issues differently. I demurred, and while I didn't say so out loud at the time, the reason for my hesitation was that... none of it was funny yet. The arguments, ridiculous as they were, were still too raw, too unresolved, to be the fodder for humor. It took over a year, honestly, for me to laugh at this stuff. So here's one of my favorites. I hope the tincture of time cured the anger but not the comedy; see for yourself.

Elle is about a month old, and it's somewhere between midnight and daybreak. She's asleep in her pack-and-play in our room. She stirs; since she's on my side of the bed, it's my duty to sit up and lean over to see if she's awake or not. Thankfully, no.

And remember, since the baby is asleep, all of this is in whispers.

Nick: Is she awake?
Me: No. But the wipes box is open.
Nick: It wasn't me.
Me: Yes, it was. You changed her last time while I was in the bathroom.
Nick: But didn't you use a wipe after she nursed?
Me: No, I used her burp cloth.
Nick: What does it even matter?
Me: Because the wipes get dried out.
Nick: No, they don't.
Me: You're lucky it's on my side of the bed so you don't have to be the one to stand up and close it.
Nick: Just leave it open then.
Me: No, because the wipes get dried out.
Nick: Hmph.
Me: Hmph.

I will say that we did have a sure-fire way to end any and all fights... at least one of us was pretty much guaranteed to fall asleep while it was still going. And that would be the end of that.

One about toilets

I don't remember how I discovered this blog so very long ago, but this particular entry still makes me laugh out loud. And cry a little because I have both a little girl and a little boy to potty train.

Speaking of, Ellison has finally decided to participate in potty training, so we're making progress! We've had one accident at home since starting about 10 days ago. She still gets just a little too distracted at school to make it every time. But I mean, honestly, wouldn't you forgot about whether you need to pee if you got to spend the afternoon playing with Play-doh and making Fruit Loop necklaces, too?

Sweet temptation

So I've been holding onto these last 7 baby pounds for a while. This is entirely because of incomplete commitment to the lifestyle changes needed to lose rather than gain weight. Let's be honest, eating cake and sleeping in are way, way more fun than eating carrot sticks and waking up extra early for weekend runs. But it's really starting to bug me that I can't wear pencil skirts, so take the plunge I shall. After some discussion with Nick about doing one of those crazy, radical diets (a la the total reset, whole 30 etc), I decided just to keep eating "healthy". (Read between the lines... Nick said no way, Jose.) My only "radical" change is going to be... no sugar for the next 3 weeks. Why not a whole month, you ask? Well, we're going to Nick's cousin's wedding August 2, and there ain't no way I'm going to a wedding and not eating cake. So 3 weeks it is.

I have already been tempted. This morning I made my plain oatmeal with blueberries but no brown sugar (sad). Then I made Elle's waffle with extra butter and just enough real maple syrup. Oh, my, kiddos. I really wanted a bit of that waffle. But I decided the first morning was way too soon to ruin it. So I'm one day down and still in the game.

The main point of this is accountability...now that I've told all of you, it's really real. No lying to myself and saying I only meant no sugar on days that start with "T". Or some such nonsense. OK, enough rambling. Over and out until next time, mis amigos.

One where my kid tells it like it is

While stopped at a red light on the way to daycare this morning, I turned to Ellison in the back seat.

Me: Elle, you're so pretty.
E: No.
Me: Yes, you are. Every day.
E: No. You piddy! Mommy piddy! [pretty]
Me: Oh, really? Thanks, sweet pea.
E: You piddy, Mommy. I bootiful.