So happy together

Remember way back when? Back when Nick and I were brand new, and all of you thought we were crazy?

 

And remember when we took the plunge and got married? And you supported us, even though you still thought we were crazy?


 

And remember when we really were crazy and decided to have a baby?

 

Well it's been 8 years, and we're still at it. I love you, Nicholas Scholz! Happy anniversary to the perfect man for me!

 

When Bethie's away

Jen was foolish kind enough to offer to watch Elle overnight so Nick and I can go "away" tonight in honor of our anniversary next week. Most of you know her and know that she is not only a very experience early childhood educator, she is a kid-person extraordinaire and knows how to handle herself around a toddler. Even she appreciates detailed instructions on feeding my child since it can be such a nightmare. For your entertainment, here are the actual instructions I've written for her tonight.

Ellison’s Dinner: A How-to Guide for Intermediate Level Caregiver

Water in blue/pink cup in fridge. If you notice she consistently refuses to drink, try switching to milk (purple cup in fridge); she knows which cup holds what and has been preferring milk sometimes.

1) chicken nuggets: on plate in fridge

**remove the pouch from the fridge during this step and leave on counter (out of her view) to warm a bit
-microwave 15 sec, flip, then 15 sec more
-hand her a whole nugget, one at a time
-usually eats 2, may eat all 3
-if she starts ripping into little pieces, take away big chunk until she eats the little bits (will happen oh so slowly)
 
2) alphabet spaghettios: bowl  with orange lid in fridge under nugget plate
-microwave 20 sec, stir, then 5-10 sec more
-offer her a small bite on a fork, just let it touch her tongue to get a taste
-once she’s done making faces, reoffer the same bite (probably with success)
-keep offering small bites
-your discretion if you want to let her hold the fork; if you do, I recommend removing her shirt first
-small but existent chance she’ll totally refuse this; if so, move on

IF SHE TOTALLY REFUSES THE NUGGETS AND SPAGHETTIOS, CAN MAKE HALF A PB&J
-PB and bread in pantry, low-sugar strawberry jam in top shelf in fridge door
-cut the half in half and offer her bites; ok for her to hold if she wants

3) mango: small bowl in fridge under spaghettios
-offer her each chunk on a baby fork
-she can hold the fork to feed herself once each bit loaded
-even smaller but still existent chance she’ll refuse this; if so, move on

4) pouch: leftover spinach+raspberry by this point on the counter

-she’s been preferring to drink straight from pouch lately
-she can help hold pouch, but I don’t recommend letting her go it totally alone
-if she refuses cold pouch, can open new one (second shelf up on left under bread)
-put any unconsumed pouch in fridge

By now she may be full, but if she’s still going…

5) yogurt: in tiny Tupperware on top fridge shelf

-she can hold the spoon once it’s loaded
-if she’s already a mess, you can let her feed herself independently for comic relief, which you may need by now

6) cheese cubes: plastic baggie on top shelf

-she can feed herself, no more than 2 cubes in the mouth at once

Anyone wanna come over next weekend to babysit?

Proud moments in parenting

Yesterday I was putting Ellison into her car seat so we could go to the grocery store. She loves going to any type of store - riding around in the cart or her stroller, waving at strangers, eating crackers, and sipping from her big-kid straw cup. It makes her feel very cosmopolitan I think. But yesterday she didn't want to get strapped down in her (still rear-facing, sad sigh) car seat.

Me: Elle, you gotta get in your seat.
Elle: No.
Me: But, Elle, you have to get in your seat so we can go shopping. Don't you want to go shopping?
Elle: Shus? Shus?! Shus! (=shoes)

Yup. She's already growing up right.

Terror in the bathtub

Poor Ellison will be so embarrassed if she ever reads this someday. Sorry, kid; you just make it so easy.

So you may not know this, but little kid bathtub squirty toys accumulate mildew and gross stuff inside after a while. Then when you squirt them, out come little clumps of mildew grossness. I try to keep tabs on the offending toys and remove them from the rotation, but tonight Elle snuck one into the tub. So she's happily playing, playing, splashing, squealing with delight, and then all of a sudden... sheer panic. Kid starts crying and scootches (Blogger just tried to autocorrect that to "scotches" - yeesh, leave me and my made-up words alone!) to a corner of the tub, scrambling in an attempt to climb out. I can't figure out what's wrong, and then I realize there are little blobs of floating mildew from this particular toy. And she's pointing at them and screaming and crying, etc. So I pull her from the tub and partially drain it, waving the offending tidbits toward the drain, all the while assuring her that mommy will get all the scary little brown spots and the tub will again be a safe haven of wetness momentarily. So I put her back in, and within 15 seconds she sees one tiny little goomba that I missed and repeats the whole process. And she is freaking out. It's actually quite hilarious. I wish I'd captured it on video.

But what makes this story soooo funny (and so embarrassing to this child of mine) is that just last night, she pooped in the tub. [Sidebar to anyone contemplating bearing children: Bathtub poop will happen. I'm sorry to be the bearer of such terrible news, but it's true. I recommend strategizing early. I opt for rubber gloves (the medical kind), but I think a tiny little fishnet like you use in an aquarium would also work well.] And that didn't bother her at all. She was quite surprised and confused when I whisked her out of the tub. Her look said, "Farewell, dear bath, I hardly knew thee." And tonight it was all I could do to get her back in the tub even once I'd fully drained and refilled it. She would rather have gone to bed soapy than get back in, but fortunately I'm still bigger than her and can always win no matter what.

And that's the story of Ellison and the bathtub.

PS I do indeed clean the tub after a poo incident, so please don't be afraid to shower at my house should you ever find yourself an overnight guest at the casa de Scholz.

Battle of the sexes: Maintaining financial equilibrium

Hi again. As you may recall, I've been away for the last week in sunny Florida. But I'm back now. Jen and I had a great time, and my week away was such a great treat just after my forever graduation. A conversation we had in the car (there were many, it was a 15 hour drive each way) prompted this post. I first present to you, paraphrased, a conversation between Jen and her husband Chile.

Jen: I'm so excited about my vacation to Florida!
Chile: Yeah, it's gonna be a lot of fun.
Jen: And I'm glad Beth gets to come, but I'm sad that you're stuck in Houston working.
Chile: Oh, no, don't be. I'm just so proud that you were chosen from all the teachers at your school to go to this conference. You deserve this week away. Have fun, and don't worry about me.

Nick and I didn't have that particular variety of discussion about my trip, but here's a generic example of a conversation that's happened dozens of times over the last (nearly) 8 years.

Me: So, don't be mad, but I went shopping today.
Nick: Yeah? What'd ya buy?
Me: Um, a pair of heels and a pair of flats. And new skinny jeans. And a silk blouse.
Nick: Oh.
Me: And maybe a dress.
Nick: Mm-hmm.
Me: But you're the one who's always saying how those old brown flats have seen better days. And I always need more jeans. And heels. And I don't like the way the white silk blouse I already have looks with my new skirt so I wanted a new one. And you'll like the dress; it's short. And of course I got everything on sale.
Nick: No, that's fine. There's a couple Blu-Rays I've had on my wish list for a while, so that just means I'm getting some new movies. And maybe a game, too, with all that shopping you did.

Admittedly, the conversation rarely flows in the opposite direction where his spending starts the chain reaction. But sometimes, he responds like this...

Nick: No, that's fine. I bought a couple games off Amazon yesterday, so now we're even.

Learning new tricks

Kiddos, you are not gonna believe what Elle did to me yesterday. I would have told you then, but when I sat down I realized I never published the end-of-medical-training post, so I had to put it up and save this one for today.

Background: When Ellison gets her little paws on something forbidden, I have multiple strategies for removing it from her possession. Some involve tears, some don't. My preferred method is to offer her another equally or more desirable object (remember the eye of the beholder concept - to appeal to her the object can be anything from a scrap of paper to a single Cheerio). She is then (usually) willing to abdicate her claim to the first object in order to receive the second. In layman's terms, we trade.

The actual story: Today I was holding a giant, red, stuffed elephant (long-ago baby gift she's finally old enough to enjoy), talking in a silly voice and making it tickle her. She then ran to her toy pile (let's be honest, it's not a toy box anymore when the stuff overflows into a big heap around it), and grabbed her baby doll. She then held her doll out to me, which I graciously accepted with exclamations of what good hugs baby doll gives. My little booger of a child then plucked the giant elephant from my lap and darted off, throwing a devilish look over her shoulder.

Clever girl.

The end all, be all ending

Stick a fork in me, I'm done! As of 8:00 am, July 1, 2013 all (and I mean all) my medical training is totally, completely, and irrevocably complete. Everyone keeps asking if I'm excited. Of course I am, but it's too bizarrely surreal for me to feel much of anything. What have I been doing with myself so far, you ask? Well, I've been getting up at or before 6:00 am every day because Elle doesn't get that it's summer vacation. In fact, she seemed really confused Monday when I packed her in the car as usual early in the morning, but we ended up at the med center (so I could turn in my pager). She kept looking at me like I hadn't yet realized I'd missed the turn to daycare.

What else? Well, there is this fabulous and exciting trip to Florida with Jen coming up TOMORROW! Yay! And Nick has promised me a graduation dinner. I'm planning to investigate the availability of giant turkey legs from the grocery store for him to smoke, a la rodeo food. And there will be trips to the zoo and the children's museum and much, more more, none of which has anything to do with being a doctor. Stay tuned, but as of tomorrow I'm out for a week. See you on the other side.