Ritualistic

Last night was a long one, as are most of my calls. But oh, the joy of coming home early post-call. Everyone has his or her post-call ritual, and we can spend hours debating the order and proportions of sleeping, eating, and showering. Here's my version.

1) Call Nick from the car so he knows I'm still alive and to come looking for me if I'm not home in 20 minutes. Stay between the white lines.

2) Drop my bag by the front door and hang up my coat, Mr. Rogers-style. Make a potty run when I realize I've been holding it all morning.

3) Eat. This almost always involves a large bowl of Special K with Red Berries. I can't even describe how rejuvenating the cold crunchiness can be for weary post-call bones.

4) I usually shower at work before rounds, but if for whatever reason this hasn't happened (like a 7am code), insert shower here.

5) Watch TV, usually the Food Network unless I have a "What Not to Wear" recorded on the DVR. There's just something so soothing about watching Paula Deen scoop sticks of butter into her bowls.

6a) If I slept some on call, I will pick a recipe for dinner or dessert and go to the grocery store. Then, like the living dead, I lean on my cart and scootch up and down the aisles. Incidentally, I think today will be pecan-crusted tilapia with beurre blanc sauce.

7a) Cook dinner, hang out with Nick, read, check email, etc.

8a) Go to bed at 8:00pm.

Alternate scenario:

6b) If I did not sleep on call, TV watching will continue. I will start sitting upright and then wrap a blanket around me. I will then proceed to prop my feet up. Danger, danger! The next step in my post-call degradation is lying on the couch, which 99.9% of the time leads to sleeping on the couch. This is occasionally interrupted by one of the dogs poking a cold, wet nose in my face.

7b) Wake up and tell Nick how hungry I am. Go out to dinner, usually Red Robin based on proximity.

8b) Go to bed at 8:00pm.