Class effect

I followed a Subaru out of the parking garage today, which got me thinking about things for which I have an irrational aversion. Things that just plain irritate me when I encounter them. Like SSRIs cause hyponatremia, the following never fail to get under my skin...

PS Please take no offense. This is all in fun. And I'm sure something about me annoys you. :)


10. golf
Stemmed by memories from my childhood of my father saying he doesn't play golf because that's for doctors who don't love their families. Not categorically true, I know, but neither categorically untrue.

9. hiking sandals
See example here. Unjustifiably ugly. And honestly, how is a sandal ever a good idea for hiking?

8. puffy and fleecy vests
Especially when worn indoors over a shirt and tie. Like you weren't sure if you were going hiking or to the office, so you just thought you'd dress for both. Not OK. Ever.

7. fake blond hair
I think this requires no explanation from yours truly.

6. yellow
Blame this one on my childhood bedroom and the horribly mistaken concept of my parents that "yellow is good for a boy or a girl." I'm overcoming this one little by little, but it's taken a decade. Or maybe it's related to #7 above?

5. too many people who all look alike
I'm not talking about uniforms. I'm talking people (usually family) who are the spitting image of each other. Now a dad or mom with a single kid is cute, but something about seeing parents with 8 kids who all look like mini-me makes me wanna scream, "Get your own genes, for crying out loud!"

4. store-bought pie
OK, here's the low-down. That pie will always taste store bought, no matter how many times you say how you can't even tell the difference between that and homemade. Yes, you can. And I will always, always bring something homemade to which people will flock like seagulls, leaving your store bought yickiness alone and lonely at the end of the table.

3. those roundey-bottom shoes that claim to whip you into shape
Eg, Skechers Shape Ups or Reebok Easy Tone. For so many reasons, the foremost of which are ugliness and ineffectiveness. And the fact that almost every nurse at the VA wears them. Enough said.

2. mayonnaise
It's the goopiness. I almost can't handle making Nick a sandwich.

1. Subarus
I know, it doesn't make sense. But I have a visceral reaction, especially to the station wagons. I think it's the whole idea of function over form to which I am categorically opposed.