War stories

My moonlighting shift last night was overall... disappointing. Almost no admissions, and LOTS of cross-cover. It was so painful. So, so painful. But it got me reminiscing about the good ol' days as an intern, when cross-cover was my seemingly permanent lot in life. I have a few doozies - here's one of them. This one is the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. I kinda feel like I've told it before but can't find it in the archives, so humor me.

It's just after midnight, and I'm typing away at my latest H&P. I've been getting hammered all night about this one guy in particular - definitely an HMP. So I decide to get on the offense rather than play defense all night. I'm gonna pre-emptively write an order for a prn (as needed) sleeping pill to go along with the constipation, pain, and anxiety meds he's already asked for. I open WizOrder. Am-bi-en. Click. 5mg. Click. Qhs prn. Click. Accept. And done. I sit there with a smug little grin on my face, so proud that I'm saving myself a page. Approximately 1 minute later...

Beep, beep, beep.
Me: Morgan [general medicine].
Nurse: Oh, hi. Did you just put that order in for Ambien on Mr. Smith?
Me: Yes.
Nurse: It's so weird. I was just in his room, and he asked me for something for sleep. And then I walked out of his room, and your order was on the printer! How did you know?! I was only in there for a minute!
Long, tension-filled pause.
Nurse: I mean, it was just such perfect timing.
Me: Well, he's needed everything else under the sun tonight.
Another long pause.
Me: Do you need anything else?
Nurse: No, I just wanted to ask you how you knew.
Me: OK. Bye.
Click.

You can't make this stuff up.