Hump day, take 2

Sorry guys, I don't know what happened to that last post. I promise I wrote it, but Blogger just ate it. So here it is, again.

This Wednesday wasn't just any hump day. It was October 16, which is the exact middle of October. And that matters because the exact half-way point of October is the exact half-way mark for my time as a general medicine ward attending. Thirty-one straight days of work is proving to be a brutal task, so I'm looking for any excuse to celebrate. In honor of the occasion, here's the first funny work story in a long, long while.

My residents and I walk into a patient's room, where said patient is rifling through a bag of pill bottles.

Me: Whadya doing?
Patient: Nothing. Just looking.
Me: But why do you need your pill bottles? Remember, the nurse gives you all the pills you need while you're here. Were you taking extra pills?
Patient: [awkward pause, deadpan face with sidelong gaze] Noooo.
Me: Would you tell me if you were?
Patient: [same facial expression] Yessssss.
Me: So then what are you doing with that bag of pill bottles?
Patient: Looking for a Band-Aid.
Me: Why do you need a Band-Aid? Are you bleeding? If you're bleeding we need to know about it.
Patient: No, I just wanted one.
Me: But why?
Patient: [still that same expression] Just in case.

Oh, well. In that case. Why didn't he just say so? I was too amused to ask the obvious follow-up question.... what endeavor has he planned that he anticipates will necessitate the use of a Band-Aid? I guess we'll just have to wait and see.