Loose end potpourri

Various and sundry topics on which I've left you, my adoring public, hanging...

1) working out 5 days/week in January: I came close. I think I missed 1 day. But it was really, really hard. Even though I go into work early so I can leave early, the evenings are still just too short. So I've been on and off the wagon. Lately I'm back on the wagon - 3 days so far this week. I did assign myself an A for effort and therefore treated myself to a manicure as promised.

2) the Shabby Apple: Remember a million years ago when I said I wanted to buy something from the Shabby Apple once I lost the baby weight? Well those pounds have been gone for months (thank goodness), but I never took the plunge. Buying clothes I can't try on just makes me too nervous. But have no fear; I've done plenty of other shopping to compensate.

3) mom's kitchen: Is still not done. Close but no teddy bear. [Sidebar: In 5th grade Mrs. Elmore made us learn a phrase every day {or was it week?} from the dictionary of cultural literacy, which documents the meaning and origin of such phrases as "you can't have your cake and eat it, too." When we got to "close but no cigar," she made a comment that smoking is bad for you and that you can't even win cigars at carnivals anymore. One boy said, "Well then why don't they change it to close but no teddy bear?" He was of course being completely facetious, but it stuck with me ever since.] The back splash might get done next week, and the oven is ready and waiting for the perfect oven-shaped hole to be cut in the cabinet. Soon, very soon.

4) the 30-day challenge: Remember that time I said I would only listen to the Christian radio station for a whole month? Well I made it. But I don't think they're gonna put me on one of their promo ads anytime soon because I am not a full-time convert. I just can't handle all the chipper perkiness so early in the morning. When the traffic girl told me to pack my patience yesterday morning, it felt really good to switch that dial.


Um, I think that's all. But I'm taking requests if you have any burning questions or feel like I didn't give a topic adequate closure.

Bigger is better

On my way home from work today, driving my giant SUV, I was behind a very tiny little car. Not a smart car but the same size. There was a Great Dane dog sticker in its back window. Hee hee, his dog is bigger than his car.
That is all. Carry on.

Dear Dr. Bethie: Non-physician, heal thyself

Dear Dr. Bethie,
I know it's been a while since we've corresponded, so we have some catching up to do. I decided to stop the ibuprofen because it was causing inflammation. I could feel it inside me.
Sincerely,
Not-quite-board-certified in Boise

NQBC,
Ibuprofen is actually an anti-inflammatory. And I'm puzzled by what you mean when you say you could feel inflammation inside you.
Cheers,
Dr. B

Dear Dr. Bethie,
It's hard to describe, but I could just feel it. So now when I have pain, I just take an extra methotrexate.
Just call me "doctor,"
NQBC

Dear NQBC,
Methotrexate is not an as-needed sort of pill. And dose adjustments take about 2-3 months to have an effect, so you're going to be waiting a long, long time to notice the difference from one extra pill.
No, you call me "doctor,"
Dr. B

Dear Dr. Bethie,
And I was reading the awful medication label for methotrexate and thinking that I'd like to use something natural instead. Because, you know, that's safer.
Never mind, call me "crunchy granola" instead,
NQSB

Dear NQSB,
Um, natural is not the same as safe. Rat poison is technically natural, and it doesn't seem very safe, now does it?
Un-hippie as it gets,
Dr. B

Dear Dr. Bethie,
But I was reading on the internet -

NQSB,
Tssst, tssst, tssst. No talkie about the internet. I've enclosed the application for all the medical schools in the state. How's about you apply, do those 4 years, then do the residency for 3 years, then the 2-year fellowship, and then we'll talk again.
That's gonna take you forever,
Dr. B

TGIF!

Am I the only one glad today is Friday? And it was a short week for the Scholzen since we spent a long weekend at  Mom Z's house in WF last weekend. Let me just tell you, that new kitchen is fabulous. Just needs the backsplash, and then it will be something you could put in a magazine. And that's really fun, but it's also a little weird to see the kitchen look different. I mean, it's been the same as long as I can remember. Every dinner, every batch of Christmas cookies, every birthday cake came from that kitchen. A tiny piece of me will miss the blue wallpaper and the silverware drawer that's missing a handle so you have to grab it from the side. But the rest of me can't wait to take Ellison there again and again to make Christmas cookies and eat birthday cake in style.

Speaking of Elle, here's a story. I took her with me to the grocery store this afternoon, and that kid loves riding in the shopping cart. She waves and makes friends with everyone. And she really loves going fast. So on days like today, when the floor is waxed just right and I'm wearing my clogs that slide just a little, I run run run and push her down the aisle and then... slide to a sudden stop. And she loves it. Laughs out loud. Squeals, even. And how can I tell that smiling face no? So I do it again. And again and again. Up and down the pasta aisle. We got a couple funny looks, but what can I say? Just like her father before her, this kid makes me do things I normally wouldn't. Like run and slide like a fool down the grocery aisles, just to see her smile.

A recipe for a great day

I accidentally discovered a great pick-me-up for hump day last week. Follow my instructions carefully and you, too, will have a great day (next) Wednesday!

1) Acquire chocolate by any means necessary. I recommend purchasing from the grocery store, but you could always steal from a baby if you're desperate.

2) Put the chocolate in your work bag with the intention of treating yourself the next day. I recommend Thursdays for this step in order to maximize the effect.

3) Have a really busy next day (eg, Friday) and only eat a couple pieces. Shove the chocolate bag back into your bag, safely out of view of your chocolate-vulture co-workers, while you see your afternoon patients. You can substitute any work-related activity here. The key is to get so busy you simply don't have time to eat your precious chocolate.

4) Forget about the chocolate. Don't look at it, don't listen to the magical aluminum crinkle, and for goodness' sake, don't touch it! Walk away. Just walk away.

5) On the following Wednesday, reach into your bag for your pager (or ID badge, keys, whatever). An amazing (re)discovery awaits you! Chocolate! Savor every bite, giving you just enough energy to get through the rest of the day.

Repeat. I also recommend changing the particular product week to week to minimize tolerance and maximize surprise

The Newlywed Game

I've seen some other blogs today doing the Newlywed Game in honor of V-day, so if I can get Nick to cooperate, I'm gonna do the same. I don't think these are the best questions ever, but I'm too lazy to make up my own at this late hour. Here we go!

Where was your first date?

{MR} Olive Garden, right?

{MRS} Olive Garden

Where was your first kiss?

{MR} Uh, I don't remember

{MRS} Oh, this sounds so bad... Nick's hotel room. Innocent, I promise!

 

Who said "I Love You, first"?

{MR}  Me!

{MRS} Nick

Which of the following breakfast cereals best describes your wife's family's opinion of you when they first met you? Crazy Flakes, Just Right, Frosted Flakes, Lucky Charms, or Fruit Loops?

{MR} Just Right

{MRS} Just Right

Your wife is waiting at the doctor's office. Which magazine will she read? Good Housekeeping, People, Glamour, or Coastal Living?

{MR} Glamour

{MRS} None. I always bring a medical journal.

If she were ordering drinks at a restaurant for dinner for both of you, what would she order?

{MR} her water, me Dr. Pepper

{MRS} water for me, Dr. Pepper for him

 

Which of these does your husband have the most of: sense of humor, sense of time, or sense of adventure?

{MR} sense of humor

{MRS} sense of time

How many pair of your wife's shoes would you say that are not in the closet right now?

{MR} 4

{MRS} 3

What is his ultimate favorite movie?

{MR} That would take weeks to decide. Right now The Dark Knight

{MRS} Uh, Reservoir Dogs?

Which one of you hogs the bed covers at night?

{MR} you

{MRS} yeah, me

 

Who is better at handling money?

{MR} equal

{MRS} not me, so Nick

If you could have a second honeymoon, where would your wife want you to take her?

{MR} Hawaii

{MRS} St. Lucia

What is the messiest room in your house?

{MR} the garage

{MRS} the whole thing

What did you have for dinner the night you got married?

{MR} chicken, and I can't remember what else

{MRS} chicken, beef (no idea what kind), mashed potatoes, green beans (?), rolls, salad, white cake, chocolate cake

How long does your husband spend in the shower?

{MR} 5 minutes

{MRS} 6 minutes

 

Which of the following Valentine's Gifts would your wife prefer the most: a beautiful bouquet of two dozen red roses, you offering to clean the house for a month, or a one hour massage given by you?

{MR} an hour massage

{MRS} clean the house fo sho!

Who is the most patient in your marriage?

{MR} you, no, well, me

{MRS} hmm, we take turns, depending on the situation.

When was the last time your wife went to the dentist?

{MR}3 months ago

{MRS} 8 months ago, eek!

What is your husband's favorite breakfast food?

{MR} pancakes

{MRS} sausage

On average, how long does it take your wife to get ready to go out?

{MR} an hour

{MRS} an hour

 

If you husband could only have one of the following desserts, which would he choose: cheesecake, apple pie, ice cream, chocolate pie?

{MR} chocolate pie, that's not even fair

{MRS} chocolate pie, duh

On average, how much does your wife spend at the grocery store?

{MR} $80

{MRS} $120/week total

Who gets along better with the in-laws?

{MR} me

{MRS} Nick

 

Who was the first person you told about your engagement?

{MR} your mom

{MRS} technically Jen because she helped Nick plan. But my parents are the first people we called.

 

Any questions you want to add to the list?

{MR} absolutely not

{MRS} then I guess we're done here

Bethie's bad day chicken

So the last week at work has been a tough one. I'll not air my grievances here in cyberspace, but suffice it to say I've been discouraged. Needless to say I've not been uber motivated to cook. I really just want to order pizza. But then I remember that I'm almost 31 (I have a few more hours left to be 30) and can't eat whatever I want anymore so I decide I'm even less in the mood to get fat than to cook so I start scouring the pantry. And here's what ya get, Bethie stream of consciousness style.
Start with two chicken breasts. Thank goodness you bought fresh instead of the usual frozen because you totally would have forgotten to defrost them in your work-induced funk. Pound them with a meat hammer to flatten to 1/4" thick. Whew. Doesn't it feel good to whack your anger out on innocent poultry? Dredge in flour and pan fry in a drizzle of olive oil 5-6 minutes per side.
While the chicken sizzles (oh, that sound is satisfying) open the fridge and stare. Oh, I could use the rest of that tiny bottle of wine I opened for... Huh, what did I use that for? Can't remember. Moving on. And maybe some garlic. Oh, I forgot about that beef broth! I need to make something with beef later this week. Maybe a roast. Or stroganoff. Mental note taken. Back to the chicken. Broth. I need broth. Oh, time to remove the chicken and deglaze the pan. Hmm, not quite a half cup of wine but that'll do. Turn it up, let it simmer until reduced by half. Seriously, how do you judge that? OK, mix a little flour in the broth. Stupid lumps. Where's my tiny whisk? OK, pour in lumpy broth. Turn up heat and boil. Hmm, maybe a little thyme? Or sage? Hold them both up to the baby for her opinion. No, Elle, sorry, Mommy's not in the mood for sage. We're going with thyme. Just like a half teaspoon. And a big scoop of garlic. Yes, the jarred stuff. I'm way too lazy to chop garlic today, although whacking it open with the flat side of the knife is also quite satisfying. Simmer until thickened or about 3 minutes. Meanwhile nuke the frozen green beans you bought for the baby that she refuses to eat so now you and the hubby are chipping away at that giant bag. Plate your chicken and beans, pour sauce over all. Hmm, not bad for being made up as you go. And funny, your bad day seems a little better. And you don't even have to feel guilty for eating pizza.
Kinda makes you glad you live in your head, not mine, huh?