Adventures in Ellison

When I was young, I imagined being a big, important doctor at a big, important hospital. I did not dream about being a mommy. But I am one now, which is a good thing. It gives me a whole new world of blog fodder. Like this one.

Earlier this week Nick got home just a few minutes after me. I'm standing in the kitchen, holding Archer and getting dinner started. Nick is down the hall in our room changing out of his work clothes. Ellison is dragging one of her little kid chairs from the playroom toward her room. She often does this when she wants to reach something high up.

E: I nee my stew. [I need my stool.]
Me: Why do you need your stool, sweet pea?

Visions of her reaching for something on top her dresser and it subsequently toppling over on her fill my mind. Chaos and major loss of parenting points ensue. So I look up. Ellison is naked. So I chase her down the hall. She's on the chair, reaching for the top drawer.

E: I nee new diepuh. [I need a new diaper.]
Me: Yes, you surely do. [I reach toward the drawer for her.] Wait a minute... what is on your bottom? Is that poo?! Oh my gosh that's poo!

I get her onto the ground and start wiping her baby bottom. Then, just like they taught me in med school, I begin to cry for help.

Me: Nick! We've got poo! I need you to find the poo!
N: Huh?
Me: She pooed! I just saw her walking around with poo!
N: Well where is it?
Me: I DON'T KNOW! I need you to find it.
N: Is it in her little toilet?
Me: I DON'T KNOW! You have to look for it! I need you to locate and isolate the poo!
N: Hmm, not in her toilet. And this diaper is empty. And I don't see any poo anywhere. Hey, Elle, where did you put your poopee?
E: In dare. [In there.]
N: But where? Can you show me?
E: [prancing into the hall bathroom] In dare! [points at toilet]
N: No, that's not possible.
Me: Well, she can climb on and off the toilet by herself now.
N: OK, let's see. Well, huh. Look at that.
[We both stare down into the toilet, then exchange a look of awe and wonder.]
Me: Elle, you did it! You put your poopee in the potty!
Nick: Did you do that? All by yourself?
[She beams a full-face baby smile up at us and nods.]
E: I get chockit chep? [Do I get a chocolate chip?]
Me: Baby girl, for that you get a whole handful of chocolate chips!

And there was much rejoicing. And dancing the happy potty dance.

The end.