My little secrets

Sticking with the list format that's been ever-so-popular as of late (translation: easy for me to put together in a hurry), here's a list of my guilty pleasures.

1) Taylor Swift
This slot was previously filled by Jessica Simpson, but then she broke Nick LaShea's heart. My heart had a pop-starlet shaped hole, which Taylor has filled nicely.

2) raw cookie dough
I know, Mom, I know. Raw eggs. But as an adult I feel competent to weigh the risks and benefits and decide to bypass the oven and send the dough straight from the bowl to my mouth.

3) Nick's Infiniti
I may tease him about his new car and how he's such a yuppie snob now, but I really like that car. Can we say sleek?

4) Thursday mornings
Every once in a while, I don't have clinic on Thursday morning. When that happens, I sneak into work late so I can be at home when Elle wakes up. That's the best part of my day, friends, seeing the snile on sweet baby girl's face.

5) my new scrubs
As a general rule I'm pretty anti-scrubs, but guys, these are navy blue and embroidered with Beth Scholz, MD/Rheumatology. How seriously cool is that?

6) mani/pedis
I don't get them often, but man do those miracle-workers make my hospital feet look good.


7) chocolate chips
All the yumminess of candy but none of the guilt at the time of purchase. You see, I need chocolate chips on hand at all times in case of a baking emergency. And once that bag is open, I just can't stop popping them.

8) Teen Mom
My enthusiasm for this one has kinda faded since establishing more confidence in my own mommy skills. But nothing makes me feel better about myself as a parent than 44 minutes of DVR-ed commercial free teen mom train wreckage.

9) Chik-fil-A milkshakes
No explanation needed.

10) online shopping
Hey, I worked on that journal club presentation for like 23 minutes. I deserve a break. Just a short break though.

And I mean never

Today's list... 10 things you'll never hear my husband say because he's just not that guy.

1) Does that come in a vegetarian version?.

2) Of course I'll pause the move while you go to the bathroom. Take your time.

3) No, Texas Roadhouse just doesn't sound that good to me tonight. Let's have Indian food instead.

4) I don't care what movie we watch, as long as it isn't too violent.

5) Why don't you go out? I'll stay home and feed the baby.

6) I love those wedge slingbacks. Maybe you should get them in camel, too.

7) I didn't even hear your alarm this morning; I must have slept right through it.

8) Oh, I don't really care about this football game. Let's watch Cupcake Wars.

9) How about instead of chocolate chip cookies you surprise me with something totally different?

10) Our TV is way too big. We should downsize.

All about Bethie, #2

My flaws. Believe it or not, I have them, and here they are. No comments from the peanut gallery (aka Nick).

1) my sweet tooth
I would be so wickedly fit if it weren't for my constant hankering for something sweet. Oh, well. Nick bought the cow, and now he's stuck with her.

2) I talk too much.
Yet I seem powerless to stop. I ramble and ramble and ramble in both written and verbal forms of communication. I simply love the sound of my own voice.

3) vanity
I would be better rested if I didn't feel compelled to do a complete beautification routine every morning. But I just can't handle people seeing how I actually look straight outta bed.

4) impatience
See previous list, item #10. Slow = opposite of efficiency; I therefore don't like anything slow. This results in much weeping and gnashing of teeth for me. But to become patient feels like condoning inefficiency, so I'll stick to my errant ways for now.

5) yelling at other drivers
Different enough from #2 above that I felt it deserved its own category. This will become a larger problem once Ellison gets into the repeating everything we say phase. Eh, I still got time.

6) I hate working out.
Exercise is a necessary evil in my life because of #1. Insert pouty sigh here.

7) I judge crunchy cookies.
Cookies are supposed to be soft, not crunchy. Underbake by 2-5 minutes, and my baking snob self wouldn't have to judge you.

8) I'm distractible.
Nick knows by now that when I say I'll be right there to ___ (eg hold the baby) I just need to dash in the other room to ____ (eg put my shoes away) that I really mean I'll be there in 10 minutes because I'll find 17 different things along the way that suddenly seem urgently important (eg cleaning the desk off*).

9) I'm a bit obsessive-compulsive.
Mom always called it a one-track mind. Obsessive is when you think about something constantly. I sometimes do that, but I'm more a victim of compulsion, which is when you feel compelled to act on an idea as soon as you think of it. See #8.

10) I can't think of anything.
Either I'm closer to perfect than I thought, or my mind is suppressing stuff on me. You can fill in the blank with your Bethie flaw of choice for this one.

*Bad example. Everyone who knows me knows that never happens.

All about Bethie

Well, faithful e-readers, there just hasn't been much good fodder for blogs in my life lately. Therefore, you will now be subjected to a list. With probably more lists to come. Caveat emptor.

What I'm loving lately...
1) Cole Hann shoes
I'm to a place in life where I'd rather purchase fewer new items but make them really nice things I'll keep forever. Like my 10 pairs of Cole Haans.

2) New American food
So familiar and comforting yet so fancy at the same time. Benjy's, anyone?

3) my husband
He is such a goober sometimes, but I can't help it. I totally dig him.

4) music
Nick's bought me a few albums lately, and I'm really enjoying having some new tracks. The Civil Wars, Parachute, Mumford and Sons, Adele, Black Keys. By the way, I mean new to me not new in general. I know I'm behind the times.

5) blue + pink
Turquoise + coral. Aqua + bubblegum. Navy + magenta. This phase started with Elle's room and has just kept on going. From clothes to scrapbook pages, I am all about blue + pink lately.

6) curling my hair
It's been like 6+ months since my last cut, so it's getting to the awkwardly long phase, and loose wavy curls fix that. I don't do them often, but bear in mind that this list isn't based on frequency of use/performance.

7) amazon.com
Free shipping on gajillions of items I could easily buy at the store but instead choose to buy in my pjs at my desk with my feet up? Yes, please. Not to mention, this is about the only place I can find my Sheer Blonde Glistening Perfection Conditioner for Lighter Shades of Blonde these days.

8) my kid
I just can't get enough. I am straight up addicted. But how could you not be addicted to this cuteness?

9) sleep
Oh, how I missed you, my nocturnal friend. But with #8 doing much better at night the last few months, I'm practically drowning in shut-eye.

10) efficiency
Quicker better faster, that's how I like it.Which is why quality improvement (QI for us pros) seems to be a perfect career fit for me. I mean, someone will actually pay me to tell them how to do things. Awesome.

Battle of the sexes: Violation of the Man Code

Jen came over Friday night, and we all went to Texas Roadhouse. Three cheers for cheese fries and sweet yeast rolls. Afterward we sprawled on the couches at out place, comparing how full we were (not enough, just right, or sickly). And as everyone knows, Friday is bride day on TLC, so we watched Say Yes to the Dress.

Mom: Is this the girl who wants a ruffly dress?
Jen: No, this is a different girl. Where are they?
Nick: They don't just show people buying dresses. Sometimes they show fittings, too.
Awkward pause with everyone staring at Nick.
Nick: And if you ask how I know that, it's because I have watched this show way too much. Beth always has it on.
Continue staring.
Nick: And this is what I get for being a supportive husband and wanting to do things together.
Me: I think you just lost a man card, honey.
Nick: Well, I try to watch my shows together, but you just leave.
Me: That's because they're boring.
Nick: So when people ask me what I did Friday night...
Me: Just tell them you went to Roadhouse and leave it at that.

Stranger danger

We Pearlanders gathered a last weekend at the casa de Scholz for dinner. Yum, pulled smoked pork. But that isn't the point of this story. I simply tell you that so you understand why 4 other couples/families were at our house.

Tim and Abbie arrived and settled into the couch. I sat down with Elle next to them. Something funny came up, and Tim made a silly face with a loud voice at Elle. Baby girl looked at me, took a deep breath, furrowed her little brow, and started wailing. Wailing. I mean wailing. It was hilarious. I mean, not to my pitiful baby girl, but to the rest of us... hilarious.

She clung to me and started to calm down. Then she made the mistake of looking at Tim again and started wailing anew. We repeated this a few times.

Fast forward. Troy and Sarah et al arrived. Troy asked to hold her. She was surprisingly calm in the arms of this stranger. Then he laughed innocuously, and the spell was broken. Child of mine started wailing all over again.

Tyler and Todd practically hid from her all night so as not to cause further consternation. (Isn't consternation a good word?)

Think her aversion to men other than her daddy will persist through her teenage years? We can only hope.

Insomniac

I woke up very, very early Saturday morning. It's not the baby's fault. Or the dogs'. Or even Nick's.

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP.

Yup, that would be my pager going off at 5:30 in the am on a Saturday. After waiting on hold for several minutes, which feels like a slow eternity at that awful hour, I reached the lab. Apparently, a sample drawn the prior afternoon returned with a critically high value, for which the lab is required to contact the physician immediately upon completion of the test.

But it was so very early on a weekend morning. You know when that information would have been helpful? Um, Friday afternoon. I don't think a critical value resulted more than 24 hours later has the same urgency as something done in the hospital done, say oh I dunno, an hour ago. Pretty much, if that critical value hadn't landed him in the ER by then, it wasn't actually that critical.

But that's just tired, cranky Bethie talking.

I am going to bed early as if I could make up for those two lost hours of sleep yesterday. Good night, and good luck. With what, I don't know. But good luck nonetheless.