Battle of the sexes hits the road

Today we venture into a new realm of Scholz life, that of Going Somewhere New. (Sorry, I've been reading Jane Austen and just couldn't resist the urge to use odd but fitting capital letters.) We aren't a nagging, bickering couple, but travel all too often results in temper tantrums (on both sides). Even the acquisition of a GPS didn't solve this. The following is a mish-mash compilation of what you'd hear if you were a fly on the wall. Or windshield, rather.

Me: Were you gonna turn there?
Nick: Why would I turn there?
Me: That was our turn, but too late now.
Nick: That wasn't our turn.
Me: Yes, it was. There was a sign.
Nick: I didn't see it.
Me: That doesn't mean it wasn't there. I saw it.
Nick: It woulda been helpful if you'd mentioned it before we were past the exit.
Me: Well, you changed lanes. I thought you were doing that so you could take the exit.
Nick: But I didn't see the sign, so how would I have known to take that exit?
Me: Well how did I know you didn't see the sign? Why do you never see the signs?
Nick: Because I'm busy driving, watching out so other cars don't run into us.
Me: But they put the signs on the road so you can see them while you're driving.
Nick: Do you wanna drive?
Me: No, you just make fun of me when I drive.
Nick: No, I don't.
Me: Yes, you do. You grab the handle and the dashboard and yell like I'm gonna wreck.
Nick: Sometimes you're scary, flinging the car all over the road.
Me: See?! You do make fun of me.
Nick: It isn't making fun if it's real.
Me: Not funny. We're gonna be late.
Nick: No, we aren't. You made us leave 20 minutes extra early.
Me: Only because I knew it would take us forever to get there. Are you gonna miss the turn again?
Nick: No, this isn't it yet.
Me: But the GPS says...
Nick: No, it's not.
Me: Yes, it is.
Nick: No, it's not.
Me: Yes, it is.
Nick: No, it's not. See, we're past that light and it isn't telling us to turn yet.
Me: Oh.
Nick: Are you gonna be nice to me?
Me: I am being nice to you.
Nick: No, you're angry.
Me: I'm not angry.
Nick: No, you're definitely angry. I can tell.
Me: I am not. I'm just frustrated that we're gonna be late... And you're angry, too.
Nick: No, I'm not angry. I'm trying to cooommmuunnicaaatttee. And we're not late. That clock is fast.
Me: I know, but still. Are we there yet?
Nick: Yes.
Me: I love you, even if you are a booger sometimes.
Nick: I love you, too.