The break-up

I'm visiting my sister in Seattle this week. I've only been here one day, and I can already tell things just aren't gonna work out between us. Me and Seattle, that is.

Top 10 Reasons Seattle and I Should Break Up:
1) It's way too hard to get a tan this far north.
2) I have a serious aversion to puffy vests.
3) I'm too prissy for all the flannel-wearing tree-huggers out here.
4) I don't hike, bike, or climb rocks, trails, or anything else.
5) I can't wear high heels on your hilly streets.
6) I'm a Republican.
7) I think organic food is over-rated.
8) Have I mentioned how prissy I am?
9) I don't drink coffee.
10) I'm in love with somewhere else. His name is Texas.

So you see, Seattle? It isn't you; it's me. We're just better off not together. So if you don't mind, I'll be hopping a plane back to Tennessee in short order. I know he's not Texas, but if you can't be with the one you love, you gotta love the one you're with. Adieu, Seattle. We never had a chance.