Like water for chocolate

Remember how I made a cheesecake last week? And how it wasn't what I was expecting? Well, my taste buds are just having a tough time dealing with it. My cerebral cortex thinks, "cheesecake," and my gustatory complex expects a very particular combination of sensations. While my concoction is sweet and creamy, it just hasn't satisfied the cheesecake craving.
I also made a butternut squash and sweet potato au gratin last week. Twas cheesey and gooey and good, but again, just not what my brain was expecting. It looked up "au gratin" in its amygdalar (that's where you make/store memories) dictionary and expected plain potatoes. It's much too busy with other important things to rectify sweet potatoes with its previously identified expectation of gratin.
Which brings me to the following... Some things in life are absolutes. God. Death and taxes. The dogs winding up muddy even if it hasn't rained for weeks.
The corollary to this statement is that some things in life are absolutely contraindicated. (Sorry, I have a problem with using medical terms in casual conversation now. But I just can't think of a better word to finish that sentence. Moving on). Such as water in a can. Who invented that anyway? What a horrible idea! Water in a can! It totally confuses my brain! My eyes see a can coming towards my mouth, and my tongue gets all excited at the prospect of something sweet and bubbly. And then, it's just. Water. Plain, wet water. Lemonade in a can is almost as bad. I'm just sayin'. When your mouth wants water, or potatoes, or whatever, it wants what it wants and nothing else will do.
Alright, that's all for today. I'm headed to the kitchen to put an end to this cheesecake craving situation.